Multilingual Families
Why do some families succeed in preserving their home languages while others struggle to pass on their mother tongue to their children?
What makes the difference, and what factors can interrupt this process?
Today, I want to share my experience as a mother and Spanish teacher. I hope to provide some practical tips that can help in language teaching.
One of the key factors that makes this process enjoyable is parents’ own connection to their culture and language. Studies on language acquisition show that the attitude and emotions with which a language is transmitted directly influence children’s motivation and success in learning it (Dörnyei, 2009). If you express enthusiasm for your language, your child will perceive it as something valuable and will be more inclined to learn and use it.
How parents feel within society also impacts language transmission. Research in sociolinguistics has demonstrated that parents’ cultural and linguistic identity plays a crucial role in maintaining the home language (De Houwer, 2007). A language is not just a set of words and grammar rules—it is deeply linked to culture. Therefore, it is essential for children to learn it within a positive and meaningful cultural context.
The home is the first and most natural space for linguistic immersion. Daily interactions—such as cooking, playing, or reading together—create valuable opportunities to reinforce the language in a real and meaningful setting. Studies on second language acquisition suggest that contextualized learning leads to better retention and usage of the language over time, compared to learning based solely on memorization or formal instruction (Krashen, 1985).
In our family, we have chosen the one person, one language (OPOL) approach, where I speak Spanish with our child and my husband speaks Turkish. This method has proven effective in bilingual upbringing, as it helps children associate each language with a specific speaker and facilitates its natural use in different situations (Barron-Hauwaert, 2004). However, in family settings like mealtime, where group interactions take place, communication can feel fragmented. To address this, we have adopted English as our common language for group conversations while maintaining Spanish and Turkish in one-on-one interactions. This has allowed our child to develop cognitive flexibility and switch between languages effortlessly—a phenomenon known as code-switching, which is common in bilingual children (Grosjean, 2010).
One of the main challenges in multilingual parenting is social pressure. In public spaces or environments where multiple languages are spoken, some parents opt to use the local language instead of their mother tongue to avoid feeling judged. However, research has shown that consistent exposure to the home language in various contexts is key to its development and retention (Pearson, 2008). To minimize confusion and reinforce the validation of the language in any setting, an effective strategy is to speak first in the mother tongue and then repeat in the common language.
Overcoming social pressure takes time. It may be difficult to ignore disapproving looks or comments, but consistency in using the mother tongue is essential for children to develop confidence in their bilingualism. With time, this process becomes more natural for both parents and children, ensuring that the language remains a living part of the family.
References:
• Barron-Hauwaert, S. (2004). Language Strategies for Bilingual Families: The One-Parent-One-Language Approach. Multilingual Matters.
• De Houwer, A. (2007). Parental language input patterns and children’s bilingual use. Applied Psycholinguistics, 28(3), 411-424.
• Dörnyei, Z. (2009). The Psychology of Second Language Acquisition. Oxford University Press.
• Grosjean, F. (2010). Bilingual: Life and Reality. Harvard University Press.
• Krashen, S. D. (1985). The Input Hypothesis: Issues and Implications. Longman.
• Pearson, B. Z. (2008). Raising a Bilingual Child. Random House.
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